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Things I learned from Mom

1My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done: "If you're going to kill each other, then do it outside, I just finished cleaning the house."
2My mother taught me religion: "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3My mother taught me time travel: "If you don't stop that, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week."
4My mother taught me argumentative logic: "Because I said so, that's why!"
5My mother taught me foresight: "Make sure you wear clean underwear -- in case you're in an accident."
6My mother taught me irony: "Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about."
7My mother taught me about osmosis: "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
8My mother taught me about stamina: "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
9My mother taught me about weather: "It looks like a tornado hit your room."
10My mother taught me about hypocrisy: "If I told you once, I told you a million times, don't exaggerate."
11My mother taught me about the cycle of life: "I brought you into this world and I can just as easily take you out."
12My mother taught me behavior modification: "Stop acting like your father."
13My mother taught me envy: "There are millions of less fortunate children in the world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
14My mother taught me about surrealism: "If you fall down out of that tree house and kill yourself, don't come running and crying to me."
15My mother taught me about delegating authority: "Go ask your father."

Just For Fun
[Adams Rib] [Technologically Challenged] [My Son Is Choking] ["Cough, cough, cough"] [Pillsbury Doughboy] [Easy Quiz] [The Elevator] [Fishing In Ks] [Frog] [Moms] [Survivor] [Jesus Is Watching] [What if he's not in heaven?] [What if Dr. Seuss wrote the Manuals?] [Odd Sayings!] [Don't drink and fly!] [Redneck Motorhome] [The Florida Ballot] [Give him your nose] [So Funny They're Stupid] [Virus Warning!] [Still On The Books] [Why We Do It] [10 Things Men Understand About Women] [Things I Learned From Mom]

Food For Thought
[Childrens Bill of Rights] [King With 4 Wives] [Rocks And Sand] [Gun Control] [Good Things] [The Piano] [Ode to a Genealogist] [Life As An American] [Discuss this with your kids!]
[View the world at night from the Boeing Space Station -- Awesome]
[Astronomy Picture of the Day Archive]

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Nancy Trice, © 1996-2001