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So stupid they are funny!

How do you catch a unique rabbit?
     Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
     Tame way, unique up on it.
How do you get holy water?
     You boil the hell out of it.
What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?
     Dam!!
What do eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
     Polaroids.
What do you call boomerang that doesn't work?
     A stick.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
     Nacho cheese.
What do you call Santa's helpers?
     Subordinate clauses.
What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?
     Quattro sinko.
What do you get from a pampered cow?
     Spoiled milk.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
     Frostbite.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
     A nervous wreck.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
     Anyone can roast beef.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
     Right where you left him.
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
     Because they have big fingers.
Why don't blind people like to sky dive?
     It scares the crap out of their dog.
What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
     Sanka.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
     The location of the dirt bag.
Why did Pilgrims' pants always fall down?
     Because they wore their belt buckle on their hat.
What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
     A bad golfer goes, Whack, Dang!
     A bad skydiver goes, Dang, Whack.
What do you call skydiving lawyers?
     Skeet
How are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce the same?
     Somebody's gonna lose a trailer.

Just For Fun
[Adams Rib] [Technologically Challenged] [My Son Is Choking] ["Cough, cough, cough"] [Pillsbury Doughboy] [Easy Quiz] [The Elevator] [Fishing In Ks] [Frog] [Moms] [Survivor] [Jesus Is Watching] [What if he's not in heaven?] [What if Dr. Seuss wrote the Manuals?] [Odd Sayings!] [Don't drink and fly!] [Redneck Motorhome] [The Florida Ballot] [Give him your nose] [So Funny They're Stupid] [Virus Warning!] [Still On The Books] [Why We Do It] [10 Things Men Understand About Women] [Things I Learned From Mom]

Food For Thought
[Childrens Bill of Rights] [King With 4 Wives] [Rocks And Sand] [Gun Control] [Good Things] [The Piano] [Ode to a Genealogist] [Life As An American] [Discuss this with your kids!]
[View the world at night from the Boeing Space Station -- Awesome]
[Astronomy Picture of the Day Archive]

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